Secrets of Leadership Part 1: The Art of Confrontation

There are many things no one tells you about leadership. Much of leadership skill is developed by trial and error rather than education and theory.

One of the skills that nobody really likes to talk about is CONFRONTATION.


It's a dirty word in some circles. Confrontation is not only necessary, but it’s helpful. Confrontation doesn't have to be negative. Confrontation is healthy.

There is always the ELEPHANT.

Confrontation usually has to deal with the elephant in the room.

A leader must deal with the elephant in the room and equip others to deal with elephants so we can maintain an atmosphere of peace and productivity.

Notice I didn't say COMFORT?

Dealing with the elephant isn't always easy. There are no black and white answers to confrontation. Comfort is not the goal of confrontation. Solving the issue is the goal of confrontation.

Most of us avoid confrontation because we confuse confrontation with cruelty or attack. Confrontation is merely addressing issues in a direct manner in an effort to bring resolution and often reconciliation. A restoration of focus is the key, whether it is in a company or a family or a ministry, whatever the setting.

Unfortunately, most of us avoid confrontation until we can't take it anymore. We're offended, frustrated, angry and defensive. We act out either aggressively or passively. Either way, we aren't being true to who we are.

We will begin to act out of character.

We will have effects on our body, soul and spirit.

If so, we have waited too long.

Here are some tips:


Let things simmer until they boil over.

Discuss people without their presence.

Rally troops to take sides.

Resort manipulation and control.

Build a case against someone.


Address situations and people directly.

Have a value people while maintaining our principles.

Come with a solution in mind.

Offer alternatives to the current status quo.

Listen without thinking of your reply.

Please consider, leaders, that you may have blind spots and may be part of the elephant problem. Consider that others around you are valuable, competent and creative. Believe in those you are leading, even if they disagree with you. Have authentic conversations full of hope and optimism.

If hope and optimism are a problem area for you, and you tend to be pessimistic and negative, make sure you place those around you who are opposite from you. As a leader, choose other leaders who have strengths that you do not. I help you to have eyes in your blind spots.

If we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem.

Copyright © 2017-2018 Toni Imsen. All Rights Reserved.